40 Years of Life in Review

June 9th, 2013
Judi and Terry Mooney 1973
Judi & Terry, June 1973

Today I celebrate my 40th Wedding Anniversary with my wonderful wife. You don’t see many couples reaching this benchmark any more. Of course, it is understandable that many people are choosing to put off marriage for a career or schooling, or they are just getting married later in life. I also come from a generation (wow, I’m dating myself here!) where divorce was really unheard of, or at least frowned upon. Many of the friends I graduated from college with married their college partners.

Anyway, it has been forty years as of June 9, 2013. Often clients deal with martial problems or relationship issues. It is not uncommon. I have been so fortunate; I have a wonderful wife and two amazing kids. So I thought, looking back on the years of my marriage, that I might share some person advice and stories of how I have been able to make this marriage and my home life work.

It has not always been a bed of roses. Relationships have the potential to kill you but they can also add immense love, comfort and joy to your life if handled properly. There are hardships in anyone’s world. Mine  was no exception, but by some standards we had it easy. We have had our health (notwithstanding a few scares), successful careers, wonderful friends and family. Our “success” does not derive from our net worth, but rather it grows from our commitment to each other as partners and the  activities and bonds we share. The outdoors, our respected separate interests, our family and kids, our labradors, our friends and our desire to embrace life and challenge ourselves together are all part of the fabric. Add to the mix openness and communication, respect, cooperation, intimacy, playfulness and patience.

You have to make time for each other and then you have to spend some time apart. I see couples that often forget this part. Just because you are married or together does not mean you need (or should!) spend every waking moment together. Time apart doing your own things will help your relationship stay refreshed and strong.

Judi & Terry, Ireland

Someone once said it is more important to be happy than right. I cannot agree with statement more. Not all debates and arguments are worth winning if it means upsetting someone you care about. Live life with your partner without regrets  and remember your life can change in an instant. Live life as if if every moment was your last (cliche, but true, right?).

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Dr.Mooney is a life coach, published author, co-director and owner of Karner Psychological Associates (KPA), which was established in 1987, with offices in Guilderland, East Greenbush, and Clifton Park. He has worked with numerous well-known companies, including General Electric, Freihofer's, Key Bank, St.Peters Hospital, and more.

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